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The album title refers to my tendency to see life with a "blue" perspective, which I think especially comes out in my song writing. I do believe that life is to be enjoyed as much as possible, but Ecclesiastes 7:3 sums it up well, "Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart."
Of course, it doesn't help that the album title also refers to an obscure line in the movie, UHF. :)
This CD took about eight months to fully record and alot of obstacles had to be overcome, (especially near the end), to bring it to fruition. A number of the songs were written near the end of my time in Cleveland, at a time where I wasn't sure what the future looked like. I think the first song I wrote in Chicago, "Wishing Well", reflects the new sense of hope and joy that came with moving here. The CD was (finally) "released" on June 26th, 2003.
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Anymore (4:20)
Come back and visit anytime
Though I love colors and such, there's a soft spot for your heart in mine
As this slowly crawls away
Chorus
But here we go with feet to ground
It's all ahead so don't turn around
And in your eyes, I've seen glimpses of
All that I've loved before
Of all that I've loved before
Take these memories with you, they're not so bad
They're really just images of all that I've had to feel
Through these sigh-with-a-smile eyes
And this isn't new anymore
Chorus
And this is my prayer to You Lord
It's all I can give anymore
Is there some way You can show me
Why they go with feet to ground
It's all ahead but they turn around
And in their eyes, I've seen glimpses of
All that I've loved before
There you go with feet to ground
It's all ahead so don't turn around
And in your eyes, I've seen glimpses of
All that I've loved before
Of all that I've loved before
Notes: "Anymore" is about having to say goodbye to summer, and seeing the change in seasons once again, (even though Autumn is easily my favorite season). Musically inspired by "Standing on the Edge of Summer", (coincidence?), by the band Thursday.
Silhouette (3:24)
There it goes, the reason that I didn't have to smile again, to try again
And in a daze, I shake the cobwebs off my soul to feel some more, just like before
And I hoped I wouldn't see you standing here today
I'm asking you to turn and walk away
Only to become a silhouette
Tonight
Take a bow, I'm so proud of you for what you've done to me, so faithfully
And the blue sky reminds me of my God Who sees me hiding here
While you're still near
And I hoped I wouldn't see you standing here today
I'm asking you to turn and walk away
Only to become a silhouette
Tonight
And it's you; it's you, my pride, that I can do without
I used to be such a glowing child
One day this vicious cycle, it will end
And then I'll live
Lets take a walk and take our broken smiles with to see inside the place that died
And on the way we'll never mind the other ones that turn around
With feet to ground
And when we arrive, we'll leave our pride among all of the other stains
Until only Christ remains...
Notes: Purely about how pride can wreck someone inside. Inspired by some jealousy I had towards some friends a while ago. The bridge went through three sets of lyrics before one stood out, (written so late in the recording process that the song almost didn't make it onto the CD). The closing guitar line was very clumsily played and recorded in one take.
From Here (4:43)
I've taken these steps one too many times before
I know you've watched me from afar
And so it goes, I know...
This picket fence approaches me once again
I see you look up, I look at your eyes and then
You turn away, as I say
Welcome home, this wasn't how it was designed
Do you believe that God could ever cry?
You can fight, you can kick and scream and sin
But you won't win...
This mystery comes and beats me down again
And they've all been washed away
It isn't fine this time...
I've climbed this tree to say a silent goodbye
And these islands have been my home
The water's cold I'm told
Lord, take this life, it was never truly mine
I hold my breath one moment at a time
Though I was freed the moment that I died, I still try...
I hear the parade, I can hear someone smile
All the way from here...
Notes: Originally titled "Hold my Breath". This has to be one of the simplest guitar parts written in the history of mankind. The bridge gently transitioning into the final verse is one of my favorite moments on the disc.
The One (4:27)
Just go away
After all this time, one would think that you'd go away
And they'll never understand
Most will never know
Chorus
But if you see one man with weary eyes
Than you'll see a thousand in this life
And any one of them could be the one that you've been searching for
Now the trees are bare
The single colored houses seem to stare
Where did the parade go?
Does anybody know?
Chorus
When will this go away, Lord?
You've heard my silence, I've heard You say so much before
I'm sitting here hoping You will look my way
I go to leave and nothing seems to change
Someday, I will change...
Notes: I only used EADGBD tuning to write two arrangements in my entire life, and they both ended up in this song. There is a picture on this site with the "single-colored-houses" referred to in the second verse. EADGBD is one of four different tunings used on the CD.
Wishing Well (3:12)
The winter sun is cold, the weary steps foretold
The wondering mind deceived, but somehow relieved
The beaming stare, but somehow without me there
The wishing well was so unable to tell
Lord, inside Your Hand, you cradle a barren man
Curled up inside, with nowhere left to hide
Within the hazy blue, I tried to run from You
In the distance all along, I hear a joyous song
This aching day, the one I thought I would hate
But time sets in and again I get to begin
I'm wishing well but still unable to tell
And the reasons are misplaced, and my soul went out to play
And the fields are replaced, and the candles went away
But what they leave behind
My Savior takes, and I smile for one more day
But I'm walking through and the shadows don't have a clue
Their wishing well was never able to tell....
Notes: One of the more upbeat tunes I've ever written, this was a fun little dropped D song to work on. Wrote it while I was still getting accustomed to Chicago, and it sort of represents my looking forward to the new life I was embarking on, (over four years ago now!).
Unaware (3:10)
So all the things we would have said
Cause a silent sigh instead
As you're well unaware
And everything seems to fly
Right in front of my closed eyes
So I try not to stare
The circles that spin, behind my eyes
Make their way to the source of my pride
And all of the things that I knew before
They don't even matter anymore
I close my eyes again, my friend
The short distance from here to there
Armed with a little boy autumn prayer
Father, please show me the way
As I arrive, the setting sun
Cannot show me where you run
So I let go of today
The circles that spin, behind my eyes
Make their way to the source of my pride
And all of the things that I knew before
They don't even matter anymore
You close your eyes again, the end
And I imagine my Savior, looking into the sky
With a smile on His face, and hope in His eyes
That one day I'll let this go
And accept what I'll never know
And all of the things that I knew before
They don't even matter anymore
You close your eyes again, the end
Notes: The music for this song was written about 3 years before the final lyrics stuck,
(I must have gone through a dozen potential themes and at least three sets of lyrics).
Written about a desired relationship that definitely should not have been desired. Recorded
with only acoustic guitars.
Walk Away Again (1:29)
From this dream today
I found myself awake
I put my coat back on\
And walked out to my grave
I stood there for awhile
For years, someone did say
I put one foot inside, but turned
And slowly walked away...
He saw me later on
One drop of blood fell upon me
He said, "Friend, where have you been?"
And I said, "Lord, You are the Way."
Notes: A reflective dropped D tune that is probably more sad than it gives off at first...
Middle of Nowhere (3:39)
The secret's out, something's wrong
Just outside of Oregon, she'll sing along
And down the road, just a ways
The parade smiles on, and offers a distant serenade
Chorus
But here I am, once again in the middle of nowhere
Once again, here I am in the middle of nowhere
They all looked on, I smiled today
But I don't think they'll ever guess what they took away
Because I offer them my smile, they come from all around
I say hello, and so it goes, they're gone without a sound
Chorus
And it's all wrapped up in a tiny little bow
And they've seen it before, so they'll never know
All the things that are lying deep within this field}
Where the roses can bloom but they never get to heal...
This storybook, it never ends
I always fight, sometimes I win, it all depends
And Lord these chains, You took away
You'll lead me Home, and I will stay
Notes: Written from a third person perspective about growing up in a small, lonely town.
I think it was the first song written for this CD that mentions a "parade", a theme that pops up several times on the album. Intended to have another lead guitar line thrown into each section, but, (and don't tell anyone this), I forgot to mix it into the song, and once the song was done,
I thought it sounded much better without it.
Something Blue (2:54)
Its 8:00 and the sun's still out, I'm stuck in here with a reticent heart
In a traffic jam, as quiet as a lamb
I'd wander but I've already been, what to give to leave this skin so far behind
But Lord I know You'd mind
Chorus
I'm thinking of something blue
I'm dreaming out the window, my friend
I wish that we could smile again in the summertime, with the sighing sunset light
But home's not here so I've got to go to wherever my Savior shows
But I'll see you someday, in Heaven far away
Chorus
Notes: The title track was originally slated to be a faster, harder song. I'm grateful that it turned out like this! Written right as I was finishing recording the Beyond the Stains CD.
Try and imagine me screaming the chorus to this song...yuck! The "fast" version was inspired by the King's X song "Complain". The three part harmonies in the second verse and chorus kind of came out of nowhere.
Shooting Star (3:34)
Distant, the shoreline appears, but I'm still out here
Watching, as autumn slowly comes around
In time, this all will fade again, the sidewalk stops and then we'll see
If this horizon's faded yet
Chorus
You'll never understand the shooting star that's in your hands
If this somehow could be true, that time could heal the wounds of life
I'll be waiting here
And the sky, circles all around, try and guess Who found me here
A tiny stone unturned
Chorus
And maybe this dream, never will be seen
By those who stop and stare
And as they move on, this innocence is gone
So Jesus, won't You hold me near?
Notes: Written about some frustrations I had with those around me a while back. My voice doesn't do the chorus justice.
Eyes (2:53)
Shattered by the fields that lie in front of me, with a white cross on my cheek
And as I wash away, this innocence remains, if only for a while
I raise my eyes, take this image from my mind
There alone, at the table with a sigh
Stare into, a reflection made of gold
Through God's eyes, seem to see a smile unfold
I see You here on the last Sunday of July, as this season passes by
Sitting here beside me as I pray, Savior, would You stay?
I raise my eyes, to this Love that has come through
All alone, yet I can't believe it's You
Stare into, the pages of this storybook
Through God's eyes, a fragile soul will take one look
I raise my eyes, to hear the angels sing again
Here alone, and yet they've found the Deepest Friend
Stare into, the fields that lie in front of me
Through God's eyes, with a white cross on my cheek
Notes: Inspired by a life-changing evening with some troubled youth at a friend's weekend retreat. I never really knew what to do with the music, so I tried recording with only a bass guitar. I'm not sure how to pull this off live.
Track 12
Recorded on the first take, thanks to the fine musicianship of JJ and Jim! Intended to be a joke, this song turned out to be more of a clumsy attempt to express the "sadness" of having to give my old guitar up. Please stop laughing... :)
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Thanks
There are far too many people to thank, but here is my attempt.
My family - For your love and support.
My small group, past and present - Every one of you has changed my life somehow, and I'm grateful for you guys.
Matt, DJ, Maack and JJ - For stretching my faith and being true pals all these years
Scotti - For believing in me
Jim - For being a friend in the truest sense of the word. Thanks for all your help on this project!
Dave and Michelle - For sharing your lives with me
All of my friends from Cutting Edge, GCNO, Willow Creek and elsewhere - For building me up in the Lord
God - For saving me, never giving up on me, and never letting go of me.
Those I've never met, but would like to thank anyways (some are serious, some are otherwise):
Neil's wife, Pepper's vet, Al Cutworth, Les Paul, the inventor of Phase 10, Jim's Grandfather, Joey Poey, Alan Trammel, anyone at Radio U in Columbus, Herbie's luthier, Marc Byrd, Design Engineers for the 1995 Dodge Stratus, Andrew Seavey's siblings, Al Vandercook, whoever thought to build Rt. 2 in Northern Ohio, Michael Richards (for also thinking of something blue), Cedar Point Roller Coaster Engineers, Ty Tabor, Bill Engvall (for giving me my sign), and
C.S. Lewis.
Credits
All vocals, guitars, and drum programming by EJF except:
Co-Lead Vocals on "Middle of Nowhere" by Ginger Smith (Thanks, sis!); Emu Callers on
Track 12 by Jon Jennings and Jim Fiene
All songs written by EJF
Art Direction and Photography by Jim Fiene
